The Die2Nite Herald Issue #4
Editorial
I was recently asked if the Herald is going to be a daily thing. Well i guess now we know. As much as i wanted to release the 4th issue yesterday i was unable due to real life engagements. But ill say it again: "I make no promises". It would be awesome to have it daily but hey sometimes there might not be enough material to work with or just not many things happening. I guess eventually ill get in touch with lots of players who will tip me off on things but right now im on my own. This issue im dedicating to the Giant Sandcastle project. The thread for the castle kind of went viral on the world forums and before the building was finished i was doing the 2nd issue and i thought hey. . . . this will go well in the herald lets make it an exclusive piece. That got couple of people worked up so eventually in issue #3 i put a small teaser about it so the people who update the wiki can patch things up. But now here we are 2 days later and no matter what people told me before i think this was the right thing to do. I think pumkintits did an amazing job and the story turned out great. So without further a due i bring to you: THE SANDCASTLE
Yours Azmael
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A Herald Exclusive
MEMOIRS OF A CASTLE
By Pumpkintits
As a little girl, I dreamt of one day having my own magical castle that looks out across all of the lands. I dreamt of a handsome prince to protect me from enemies, loyal servants that answer to my every beck and call, and a kingdom that withstands any attacks from jealous foes. Well this story is very much like that age-old fantasy, except that the castle is made of sand, the prince ends up getting eaten by zombies, and the servants are merely a bunch of misfits who ignore any orders given. Oh, and the kingdom gets demolished by a bunch of flesh eating undead, but it is basically the same thing, right?
Many of you may have been wondering, what is all this fuss about a stupid sandcastle? This my friends, is not just a sandcastle, but a symbol of our struggle against adversity and the triumph of good over evil. Soon you will understand.
It all started one seemingly average afternoon. The sun was slowly cooking the corpses of recently deceased town members, the citizens were starting to rise (we wake up late, don’t judge us), and the chickens were clucking happily because the town still didn’t know how to build a butcher. One townsman had an incredible sleep and woke up feeling more generous than usual. Probably due to the lawnmower killing spree he had the day before, where he managed to run over more than just zombies.. R.I.P DevinTalley, you won’t be missed but my revolver you stole will be..
His name was Azmael, and he had a thing for dogs. His puppy was with him always, and people were starting to get suspicious of their relationship. Nobody dared to question him however, in fear of lawnmower retribution. In his good mood, Azmael decided he would give a hero day to his faithful servant FlawlessSin, but there was a catch. Flawless was told that with great power comes great responsibility, and that he must become a scavenger to find the town important items or there would be harsh consequences. True to form, and with his life on the line, the sinner did not disappoint.
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| Nonsense construction? We`ll do it again! " said the citizens of Dull Thoughts after dying. |
So out Flawless went, wading through blood splattered sand, logs, and used condoms plastic bags (fornication is strictly prohibited within town unless it involves me). As luck would have it, our one time scavenger stumbled across something wonderful. Grasping it in his dirt covered hands, he held it up to the sun and behold! A very rare blueprint. Flawless struggled to contain his excitement in more ways than one, as he hurried back to town with his prize.
The town’s excitement was palpable. Could it really be? A very rare blueprint for us? The townsfolk waited eagerly outside FlawlessSin’s house, desperate to know what this incredible find had in store for their town. After a very long time and some odd noises, Flawless emerged from his house sweaty and exhausted clutching his blueprint with pride. He said only two words, but those words changed the fate of the town forever; “Giant Sandcastle!”
Building a sandcastle may seem easy, but for the Town of Dull Thoughts this proved to be quite a feat. In order to construct a giant sandcastle, thirty rations of water, fifteen patchwork beams, ten metal supports, and three hundred action points are needed. Obviously this is a reasonable request for such a magnificent building, but many lazy sleep ins and frequent camping holidays caused the town’s supplies to be less than satisfactory. Not to mention the fact that almost half the town were already dead, with many getting lost in the desert and some just forgetting that humans need to drink water to stay alive. So with under thirty water rations, two patchwork beams, a few wooden planks, one metal support and no wrought iron or scrap metal whatsoever, the situation was dire. That is until a brilliant plan was devised.
Overnight the citizens worked tirelessly to upgrade the pump, successfully securing thirty extra water rations for the town. It was a cold, rough night (well not for me, a princess really needs her beauty sleep), but the thought of eternal glory spurred them on. As a new day dawned and the sun slowly crept across the land, and the trash littered desert had never looked so beautiful. The landscape was full of promise, sparkling and flashing as the sun reflected off of unknown items. No time was wasted as the citizens ran through the gates pushing past each other in a frenzy, desperate to claim the scrap metal and rotten logs that lay forgotten in the sand. Today was the day that dreams would come true and history would be made, or so they thought..
It is no secret that all kingdoms will experience some form of opposition eventually, and this one is no exception. Unbeknownst to the town, an enemy not unlike a snake, was waiting to strike. You can’t see it, you can’t hear it, but you sure as hell know when it bites you. This was no snake however, this was something much worse. A being so evil it has the power to destroy towns in seconds, reaping havoc on innocents, taking lives with no mercy. Yes, the ancient and dreaded griefer. Most thought griefers were just a myth, a story told to scare children into eating their vegetables, but this deviant creature is real and is sent from the darkest crevices on earth. Most people don’t know that griefers are able to shape shift, taking on different forms to trick town members into a false sense of security, and that’s exactly what happened.
This particular griefer took the form of a concerned citizen who was ‘worried’ about wasting so many action points on a ‘useless’ sandcastle. His name starts with a G and ends in asshole, so I shall politely refer to him as Mister G. Useless? Useless?? Did he not see the building description? “If there's one thing we're not short of here, it's sand. This wonder shines by the light of its uselessness alone: its construction earns a rare distinction for all the citizens still in town.” If a sandcastle that does nothing isn’t the epitome of useful, then I don’t know what is. Mister G refused to participate in such a project and the townsfolk were not happy at this, but to keep the peace everyone accepted it and went about their duties. Then Mister G did the unspeakable. He deliberately finished the moat to block the construction of the castle, thus using twenty rations of water. Twenty precious water rations wasted when no extra town defense was needed, leaving roughly four rations to drink and the thirty for the castle. Sensitive Mister G didn’t take too kindly to the outrage that ensued so he decided to steal the hacksaw and the nuts and bolts, running off into the desert never to return.
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| Pumkintits and Kean4311 holding hands after they finished. . . .dancing. |
Panic spread as once again the hopes of an entire kingdom were crushed, but everyone had come too far to give up now. After another night of hard labor, and another day of building, the town could finally rejoice as their wonderful creation was completed. All that was left to do was celebrate, starting off with a consummation at the top with my prince kean4311 (the town may or may not have been watching this), followed by a dance party. Out came the secret supplies of vodka, valium, and rubber ducks that people had been hoarding in their curtained houses. A better party, you never did see!
As the party raged on into the night something stirred in the darkness beyond the lights of the town. Scraping and groans went unnoticed, drowned out by the music blaring from the repaired hi-fi. In the excitement of the party nobody bothered to close the gates, possibly because by this point they were way too intoxicated to care. As their beady eyes gazed at the dancers with hunger, the walking dead made their way closer to the town, gaining speed with every step. By the time the townsfolk noticed them, it was too late. Despite their rotting limbs, the zombies moved with incredible speed overwhelming the dancers within seconds. Screams of agony rang out through the desert as the sandcastle was soaked in blood. As I ran to my prince for protection, he was torn apart in front of my very eyes, each limb ripped out of the socket with a sickening pop and crunch. As I gasped in horror their attention turned to me, and there was no chance of escape. Overpowered I screamed as they ripped off my.. err.. pumpkins, and clawed at my face. In my dying moments I managed to see zombie Mister G mowed down by Azmael, and for that I am thankful.
Death is a funny thing, you know. Painful yet swift and if you do incredible things during your life, like say build a giant sandcastle, you might just be eternally rewarded. As I came face to face with the almighty die2nite God, I gasped at what was before me. With the head of a crow and the body of an Epoq, he towered over me exuding power and demanding respect. Bowing humbly, scared of what was to come, I waited in silence.
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| Even the god of D2N could not believe this! |
Staring at me intently, with a somewhat quizzical look, he asked: “You seriously built that?” Confused, I questioned what he meant. “You really built a damn sandcastle?” Well the answer was obvious, they didn’t call us the town of dull thoughts for nothing. I bit my tongue and said nothing for fear of having my eyes pecked out. My silence was all he needed as an answer. “Very well then, rules are rules… You will be given the distinctions Wonder Construction, Wonder: Sandcastle, and Extreme Projects for your efforts,” he said as he looked down on me with a frown. Glancing away as if trying to remember something, he added: “Ah yes and along with those you receive the title Nonsense Builder, congratulations I suppose… “ And at that he was gone with the flash of a camera.
So ends the tale of the mystical sandcastle, and those who helped achieve the seemingly impossible. Some say people still live there, with Mage Shooter sitting in his sand library, reading his magic sand books, and GabrielStarkz desperately trying to sell his twelve cent chickens. I guess the moral of the story is to aim high, and build awesome shit made out of sand. And despite what anyone says, I think we can all agree just this once, that the Town of Dull Thoughts, got it done.
At The End Of The Day
Due to the size of the memoirs the Herald team decided to make the whole issue only about the sandcastle. We are hoping you will enjoy this 4th issue and if you do dont forget to subscribe.
We are currently accepting plastic bags full of sand as payment (Yes the Herald wants an awesome sand castle too).
Good luck to all of you, try not to die2nite.
*For ways of contacting the herald use:
- The world forum thread.
- The die2nite.net forums
- Steam
are less than
then close gates and sleep soundly. If 
